just now it s 4:00 around, i got a fever, my stomach hurt so fucking a lot, my head burned, i feet r colder than ice for more than 8 hours. i dont know who to text. and i miss my mom. but i didnt dare to call her, or text her, i would never do that.
i began to love myself a little bit. i suddently found out how perfect, how sweet and how smart i am. i am the best person i have ever met in my whole life. i have never ever met such a person before.
every of my decisions, i made it without any truly concrete and solid provements or basis. but all proved to be right. i felt so fucking lucky i have avoided the second hurt, third and forth hurt from some heartless( yes, they are charming and witty and romantic to death), selfish, dirty liars. i just always go with my heart's voice, intuition could be amazingly correct. that s why i always encourage smart girls to believe themselves rather than believe in men.
the reason i m still capable to love and be loved is the same reason why i so easily get hurt. i suddently found my mom right, she know me deeper and more objective than anyone else including me. she s right. the reason is. i m a kind-hearted person. she is so smart, she knew it when i was born, and i was stupid not to believe it. cuz i treat it as the similar word with "weak". now i honor it. that s human nature, and i m proud of it.
and i began to realize how gorgeous i m.
i will be independent, i will take care of myself, and still, i believe in love.
it s nearly 6:00 now.
goodnight mom ,love u~